Don’t Worry. Be Happy.

Don’t Worry. Be Happy.

Don’t Worry Be Happy was an expression found on cards, posters, and shirts in the 1960s. It also was a popular song by Bobby McFerrin in the 1980s. It was created by Meher Baba, a spiritual teacher from India. Even though we may not agree with all the teachings of Meher Baba, one must agree this is a great philosophy to have. While it is a catchy phrase, and makes sense, it often can be difficult to apply, at least when attempting to manage some of the negative symptoms of anxiety. For example, when I reflect over my life, I remember some of the most wonderful moments in my life made me anxious. Things like driving my first car, going on my first date, buying our first house…. All of these read...
10 Powerful Mindset Changes to Practice Self-Love when You’re a Compulsive People Pleaser/Codependent

10 Powerful Mindset Changes to Practice Self-Love when You’re a Compulsive People Pleaser/Codependent

Are you someone who willingly, or unwillingly, gives your power away to others?  As noted in Psychology Today, “Any time you allow someone to have a negative influence over the way you think, feel, or behave, you are giving them power over your life. This will rob you of the mental strength you need to reach your greatest potential.” Does that sound familiar? Do you find that you will do almost anything, including sacrificing your own needs, in order to make someone else happy?  We have all done this at times, but when people pleasing is habitual, compulsive and subconscious, it can be detrimental to our physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual health. As a child in a family read...
Men and Mental Health – The High Cost of Societal Pressure to ‘Be a Man’

Men and Mental Health – The High Cost of Societal Pressure to ‘Be a Man’

Joe* walked into my office feeling alone, sad, agitated, disconnected from family and friends, ashamed to “need” support from a therapist, and even guilty for not being able to “handle things on his own.” In reality, he has an accomplished career, is a high achiever, is financially successful. He was completely at a loss as to how he has ended up in my office. I assure you, Joe is not alone! Yet, many of the men who come to me feel this confusion and pressure about seeking help due to the stigma of men and mental health. There are societal beliefs and pressures such as “men have to be tough and strong,” “men don’t cry,” “men are allowed to express anger, but not hurt or read...
Suicide

Suicide

She walks into her office to have a moment to herself. Once again, she is feeling overwhelmed with complex feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, shame, and deep emptiness.  She isn’t really sure what to do with these feelings or where to find answers. Her friends try to reach out to provide comfort, though most of the time it just feels awkward.  In the quietness of her mind questions race, Why did this happen? Were there signs? Could I have been more attentive? Could I have seen this coming? Could I have prevented this from happening?  Will I ever be able to move on? Her close friend recently died by suicide. You or someone you know may be going through read...
Getting the Response You Desire

Getting the Response You Desire

“Seeing the color change in her face and her eyes look away, I knew I was not getting the reaction I desired.  In the moment, it felt like the most natural thing to say, but oh how I wished for a do over”.  Can you relate?  You know the moment when it did not play out like it did in your mind. This happens most when we get upset or angry and say the first thing that comes to our mind.  Our heart rate rises, emotions become more intense, and we lose clarity of thought.  It is in these moments we present our most ineffective communication skills and create distance from those we love most.  Most of us don’t spend our time thinking of ways to push our mate away, decrease our sex life, read...